A Tiny Family and a Scooter
an icon for reframing struggle in birthing something new.
A Tiny Family and a Scooter
Journal Entry
Campground — Big Sur, CA
November 14, 2024
This morning, after prayer, I walked out to the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean, and suddenly a family caught my attention on the road behind me. I turned around and saw a mom and a dad taking a walk with their two kids. The mom was holding the baby in her arms while their older child—probably four or five years old—rode his scooter next to them.
I thought, starting a nonprofit ministry is like birthing a child. The first year of the child’s life the mother is exhausted, confused about her identity, and wishing she could go back to a simpler way of life. There are many sleepless nights and dazed and confused days. There are fits of rage and tears that alternate so fast because of a lack of sleep mixed with physical exhaustion due to the demand on the body, mind, and spirit.
If a nonprofit ministry start-up is like a newborn baby, the woman who births the ministry can be kind to herself—for the vision she has brought into this world will take everything out of her. She, too, will have sleepless nights, feel she has nothing left to give at the end of every day, and will wonder how she will carry on tomorrow. She will lose her grip on reality, time, and space. She will be doing so many new things all at once she will inevitably become overwhelmed and have no choice but to depend on a power much greater than herself to keep the child alive.
It takes a very long time for a child to learn how to walk and talk. The child stumbles and falls for a year or more, only speaking in monosyllabic words one at a time. There are so many messes, scrapes and falls, bumps and bruises, and dirty diapers as the child is learning and growing.
As the mom and dad continued on down the road, with their eldest child scooting beside them, I thought, wow, it was a long road to get to that point. It just takes time. Self-kindness, dependence on God, and time.
My first two years of building this nonprofit ministry have been just like this. It all felt like too much, and this time, I didn’t have the option to quit. Thank you, God, for this tiny family and this icon through which I see my last two years from a different perspective. Because, holy shit, this has been hard.
